This past week, M and I went back to Toronto for a visit. I knew it was going to be a stressful trip. I equated it to going back to India, having to see everyone and their mother, and anticipated a great deal of stress. I prepared myself, knowing that when I last saw my family, I did get a bit annoyed with them by the end (2.5 weeks is a LONG time- haha), I knew it was likely to feel the same with M's family, and after many discussions with friends here in Panama in similar situations, I knew not to expect our friends to drop everything and see us as they too have moved on with their lives. I thought I was pretty well prepared- had a good balance of optimistic and pessimistic feelings, and felt that all in all, I knew what to expect.
Alas, I was wrong. The time spent with our families was the highlight of the trip. We had a great time, lots of catching up, but not so much that you felt like you were seeing each other after a long time. Just enough, so you were up to date, but yet still felt like you never left. Just normal and fun. When I think about what I miss about Toronto, I say the people. And by the people, I mean those normal, no effort, fun times. With the families, I got exactly that. My favorite day was our last full day there. My family and M's family, along with my closest friend in Toronto went an visited a good friend of my family's home, along with another good friend (my family and the other 2 families are very very close... M's family gets along with them as well). It was just a good time with lots of talking, laughing, eating, and just plane enjoying each other's company. It wasn't, by any means, centered around us, it just felt like old times.
I was, unfortunately, disappointed in my so-called 'friends' though. I can't generalize this to everyone of course, I saw some dear friends who I know will remain friends, but a few did manage to make me think twice about who I call a friend. Some didn't even bother to get in contact with us, even after numerous attempts of us trying to reach out. Some, it seems, just couldn't be bothered with breaking their normal routine to make time for us. It's not that we were being difficult, flaunting a busy schedule, or anything. We made time where we could find time. Hell, we met people in the grocery store, at their house (in a different city altogether), at restaurants for just a single drink, at soccer games, and anywhere we could manage to find time to catch up. In addition to that, we organized the Friday night as a big get together so we can see everyone altogether. Although we did see a handful of people we hung out with quite often prior to moving, the majority just couldn't seem to care less. Actually, the few people we actually spent quality time with were people we didn't see all too often, but managed to get closer to after moving. This includes the 3 visitors we had last November, some colleagues, and friends we met on vacation 5 years ago (who drove 2 hours to come see us from their hometown). It really opened my eyes as to who my true friends are.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Canadians vs. Americans
This is an argument I’ve subjected myself to more often than I would have liked to. I lived in both countries for equal amounts of time (10 years each), but call America my home. This has been a point of downright hateful behavior from many Canadians (which, ironically, is part of the reason I prefer America).
My least favorite brands are Pepsi and Mac. Why? Because of the advertising tactics they use. Rather than getting their consumers to focus solely on their benefits, they add in their greatest (and frankly more successful competitor) simply to put them down. This is the opposite of the type of strategy that would gain my loyalty. I find it quite pathetic.
Canadians take a stance which is nearly identical. They, it seems, have a chip on their shoulder. They are not proud to BE Canadian, but are proud NOT to be American. Americans, on the other hand, have a great sense of pride just being from their country. That’s my idea of patriotism. Canadians, on the other hand, will bring themselves up by putting America down.
The amount of times I’ve heard “I effin hate Americans” is appalling. That is blatant racism. I have heard so much slander and so much negativity towards Americans from Canadians who know nothing better. I have lived in both countries. You may say “American’s are racist”, but frankly, I’ve received far more racism from Canadians for both being South Asian and for being American. You may say “American’s are rude/unkind/etc.”, but during the many many difficult times in my family’s life while living in America, we had a ton of support from beautiful friends and acquaintances helping us along the way… meanwhile, in Canada, when my mom faced a moment of difficulty, her good Canadian friend said she is “no longer able to be a part of [my mom’s] life, as she did not want to deal with extra burdens”. “American’s are ignorant”?? Frankly, I’ve heard far more ignorant things coming out of the mouths of Canadians when talking about Americans than I have ever heard an American say.
Again, this is simply my observation. I am married to a Canadian, and he is not at all like this… so I, of all people, realize I am generalizing. Please take no offense, this is just how I feel about the whole situation.
I will talk more about this… particularly my thoughts on “melting pot” vs. “mixed bag” perspectives.
My least favorite brands are Pepsi and Mac. Why? Because of the advertising tactics they use. Rather than getting their consumers to focus solely on their benefits, they add in their greatest (and frankly more successful competitor) simply to put them down. This is the opposite of the type of strategy that would gain my loyalty. I find it quite pathetic.
Canadians take a stance which is nearly identical. They, it seems, have a chip on their shoulder. They are not proud to BE Canadian, but are proud NOT to be American. Americans, on the other hand, have a great sense of pride just being from their country. That’s my idea of patriotism. Canadians, on the other hand, will bring themselves up by putting America down.
The amount of times I’ve heard “I effin hate Americans” is appalling. That is blatant racism. I have heard so much slander and so much negativity towards Americans from Canadians who know nothing better. I have lived in both countries. You may say “American’s are racist”, but frankly, I’ve received far more racism from Canadians for both being South Asian and for being American. You may say “American’s are rude/unkind/etc.”, but during the many many difficult times in my family’s life while living in America, we had a ton of support from beautiful friends and acquaintances helping us along the way… meanwhile, in Canada, when my mom faced a moment of difficulty, her good Canadian friend said she is “no longer able to be a part of [my mom’s] life, as she did not want to deal with extra burdens”. “American’s are ignorant”?? Frankly, I’ve heard far more ignorant things coming out of the mouths of Canadians when talking about Americans than I have ever heard an American say.
Again, this is simply my observation. I am married to a Canadian, and he is not at all like this… so I, of all people, realize I am generalizing. Please take no offense, this is just how I feel about the whole situation.
I will talk more about this… particularly my thoughts on “melting pot” vs. “mixed bag” perspectives.
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