Life is great...

... but from time to time, I reminisce about no other than what it would have been like if we never moved from New Jersey. I don't know what is wrong with me, or if I'll ever get over the move... but sometimes I just sit back and wonder.

I was going places in NJ. I was a black belt in tae kwon do with dreams of training for the olympics (got my black belt in '98, and the first year they were in the olympics was to be 2000... it was a big deal). I may have gotten nowhere with that but it was a passion. I was a straight A student, very well liked by teachers and peers alike, and despite all the family issues, had a great life overall. I wanted to be a dentist... so badly.

And then we moved. Two months after I got my black belt. A mere couple weeks after I found out what boys were and that I could maybe like one. Just a month before I'd start 7th grade.

Do you know, even now, I say I am from NJ. I lived in Canada, met M there, but I am from NJ. Honestly... it's a part of me. What was it? I want to get over it, but I don't want to lose the memories and the fondness of it. I just wish we never moved.

Yes, I know. Maybe I wouldn't have met M. If it was meant to be, it would be. If we are meant for one another, we will have met. This is not a concern.

Just needed to get it out. It sounds so pathethic. I am no different than anyone right... wanting to be a kid again. I just get into these nostalgic moods.

Sigh...