Checking in...

Did my run again yesterday. I honestly already feel better about myself. It's incredible, the mental benefits that physical exercize can achieve. I will do my last run tomorrow because I didn't take into account that I should let my body rest. No big deal.

Accountability

I've always been some who positive reinforcement works great, and negative reinforcement will funnel me into a neverending hole. Sounds drastics but it's true. Minor, fictional example-- if someone says "Niki's a b*tch", I will probably go out of my way to be exactly that to that individual, because if they already think so poorly of me what do I care to change that perception. On the other hand if someone thinks I can succeed even if I don't think I can, I will go out of my way to try my hardest because I don't want to disapoint the person. Classic example in the life of Niki: In my junior year of high school, I was taking an academic math course. Now our school split courses into 3 levels, lowest to highest being applied, academic, and advanced. After my first test in the academic class, which I achieved something around the low 90s on, my teacher approached me and asked why I am taking the academic course. I said, I don't think I'd be able to do very well in it. She responded that she thinks I'd be able to far surpass most of the kids in it.I received a 98% in her class, and the next year I switched to advanced math courses, and eventually got into university for Honors Mathematics. I just couldn't let her already high perception drop.

One of our guests is a major marathon runner. Does it often, and travels countries to participate. The second day he was here, he was talking about his trainings and what he does, and I offhand said "Wow, that's awesome... I could never do it". He looked at me and said "yes you could. I guarantee it. and you'd love it." Interestingly enough this guy is a teacher... hmm. Anyways, once he planted that seed I spent the last week thinking about it. Keep in mind, I get winded after running a few minutes.

So off I went google searching on how to train my body. Most of the marathon sites said before you start training for an actual half/full marathon you need to be able to run comfortably for 30 minutes. So I have yet to get to that level. I then found a site which outlines how to get up to that 30 minutes. I have decided to follow it religiously.

Now M thinks the first couples week are ridiculous, and I considered skipping ahead. But I ultimately opted against it. I want to start from the beginning and do this the long way. No skipping corners. My running days initially will be TWT, and once I hit 4 days, will probably add in a weekend day. I started today.

Readers (all one? of you), are my accountability. Knowing that someone is going to be watching me succeed (or possibly fail) will push me to ensure I do it. Right now my goal and what I would be ecstatic about is being able to run for 30 minutes straight. My ultimate goal is to achieve runners high.

Here goes nothing...

Ex-pat Parties

On Saturday, M, myself, and our guests (who are now 3, one guy arrived Saturday) headed out to our real estate agent's engagement pool party/ bbq type of deal. It was quite an interesting experience.

We headed in around 8 PM (which is already very dark here in Panama, where the sun sets at 6:30). There are groups of people everywhere, kind of mingling around and doing their thing. Our agent is engaged to a Panamanian girl, so there was a mix of Americans and Panamanians alike. What was intrigueing was the fact that the American native English speakers cliqued together, as did the Panamanian native Spanish speakers. This was odd, as the majority of people were fully bilingual. I guess speaking to those who speak your native language is a breath of fresh air for the brain (or something).

The group was a interesting bunch. There were your ex-pats, like our agent, who lived in Panama because they love the country, love the life, and just enjoy the culture. Lives quite humbly and mingles with everyone. Then there are those ex-pats who are there totally exploiting the benefits the country gives foreigners. Living lavishing lifestyles, not interacting with local people whatsoever, and just doing their thing to push them selves ahead. I don't know which is better in the end, but I definitely think the former is more respectable.

Granted, we did buy a car which would be way above our status level in Canada, and why? Because we could afford it here. But at the same time, we shop at the area which is normally just for locals, we are meeting people from all over, not sticking to the ex-pat community.

It's an interesting concept, being an ex-pat, and people tend to define themselves differently because of it. I think I want to still live like it's my country, even though we can afford to be extravagent in some areas, I don't think we'll exploit that at every given opportunity.

I am totally babbling... it was a weird experience and it's hard to put into words. I'll stop while I stil somewhat have some dignity.

Another Perspective

Yesterday, one of M's cousin's old roommate's older brother and his friend (did you get that?) came down to Panama and crashed with us. It's really interestig hearing different perspectives of things. One thing that really shocked them and had them talking for a good 20 minutes, was the way construction workers whistle at girls on the street. Mind you, they are good-sized guys and I was walking between them. Workers were whistling from the 20th-25th floors of building, constantly. Even if you looked out the window, any women/ girl that walked by got catcalled. They found this aggresiveness astonishing and highly amusing.

Crybaby

Ok, so I've decided to stop numbering my posts by day. It makes my lazy days glaringly obvious, and I'd prefer not to have that.

So yesterday as I was dropping M back to work after lunch. OH! Did I mention? He comes home for lunch EVERY day. That's just the norm. Awesome! Love it. It makes the days soo much more bearable. I think this country's rubbing of on me. I digress. So, he tells me to wait downstairs, as he forgot to bring home a paper I need to sign to finalize some mortgage details (no we haven't moved in or anything yet-- I will write ASAP when things are firmed up). So I am sitting downstairs, when all of the sudden, a security guard is at each window. One guy, the street guard or whatever starts speaking in Spanish, and I look at him blankly (although I knew he wanted me to move, but ignorance works well). Finally I said "Habla Ingles?"... he laughed, and just sort of waived me off as in "it's fine, not worth the effort of trying to translate, she's doing no harm" that sort of thing. Nice guy. But the company security guard was power tripping BEYOND belief. He kept tapping his watch and pointing me to move. Bring out the violins, patheticness starts here... do you know what I did? I started crying! WTF? That was completely unexpected. It's just everyone had been so nice to me and people are understanding of my very little and very broken Spanish, and I just felt so freakin helpless not being able to explain that I am just waiting for 2 minutes till my husband comes to have me sign something, and that my husband works at the company, I'm not just some random loitering around the company grounds. Ugh, I cringe at myself sometimes.