(500) Days of Summer

After watching this movie last night, I was not thoroughly convinced of whether I liked it or not. It was good... a little slow at points... and I was on edge. Then... it stuck in my mind. I thought about it... and thought about it... and thought about it. And realized, wow... what a great story. It truly captured the essence of a relationship everyone has gone through at some point of their life, whether it is as a Tom, or as a Summer.

I was a Summer.

The boy who was my first crush, and subsequently my first kiss, was a friend's older brother in New Jersey. I was 12 years old. It obviously led nowhere, as I moved literally days after it all went down. We never saw each other until many years later (as you will read below). But nonetheless, I apparently stayed on his mind. I remember in high school, we'd sometimes chat on AIM (aol instant messenger) or even on the phone, and though he was aware I had boyfriends, and I am sure he had girlfriends, he always seemed convinced that in the end we'd be together.

A little while before I met M (maybe a year), me and this boy stopped chatting as much, rather on and off here and there. When M and I first met, that summer I went to visit NJ, my dad and I were driving through our old neighborhood, and I saw my old friend (the guy's sister)... we stopped and chatted with her, and then her brother came along. We said hello... and talked some more... and that was about it. When I returned home, he saw me on AIM and simply said "tell your boyfriend he's a very lucky guy". I did tell M, hehe...

When I went to university, M and I had a bit of a rough patch, and took a bit of a break for 3 months or so. During that time, me and this guy started chatting again on AIM. I can truly honestly say for me it was harmless, more like talking to an old friend here and there. I mean... I was 12, like I said above. Again, the chatting waned slowly (this sentence I feel may be wrong, but I will keep it)... and M and I became very serious. About a year later, we decided to move in together. One day, this guy messaged me out of the blue on AIM. I mentioned that me and my boyfriend decided to move in together. He signed off, and I never saw him online again for many months.

One day, I came home to a message which said "I don't understand what happened... I thought we were getting to where I always thought I knew we'd get to... and suddenly you're moving in with a guy"... and that was it. I have never seen him online since; pretty sure I am blocked.

I've read a lot of discussion board about the movie that say how can Summer ever be forgiven... but in mine, and in her defense... I don't think it's always as obvious as it may seem, what a guy's intentions or feelings are... or at least to what extent they exist.